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[One little thing has continued to nag at Rita, since Natsuno's body was found, and persisted after he came back to life.

Clarke was right. Which is kind of annoying, actually, but Rita can admit it...reluctantly... There isn't even anything in particular that spurs this; Rita just wants to put it to rest, so she finally texts Clarke.]

Fine, I was wrong.

But it was still all coincidence.

[Err...this is fine, right? A totally graceful...apology-thing...]

( receiving this text alone means a lot. or should. by now natsuno's back, has been slapped six ways from sunday and appropriately shamed; he and clarke have even made up to some degree, slipping right back into camaraderie that's only slightly tinged with awful memories now that they both know what it feels like to sit in a puddle of the other's blood.

but she's still struggling to let go of the whirlwind adrenaline of the search, the gutting grief of the discovery, and the anticlimactic end to her pursuit of bloody street justice. still angry at both parties involved, but cares enough about natsuno not to hold it against him too hard. jinx on the other hand...

anyway, safe to say her frustration and loathing meters are maxed out to the point rita doesn't even register on the former. it should be great to be told you were right and i was wrong, but mostly clarke's a horrible mix of too amped up and exhausted. )

Doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. Just that he's still here. Let's just call it a shitty weekend and a happy coincidence.

[...Huh. That's not as bad as she anticipated. And, once again annoyingly, Clarke is right, because it matters way too much that he's still here.]

Right.

[Rita can play it totally smooth, though. Even as she...proceeds to keep typing something else that's been bothering her and which maybe she feels like needs to just--get out. Or maybe she's too tired and wrung out to keep it inside.]

It would be nice if it did mean something. If the ship worked that way.

[She can never forget the battle royale or the hundreds, maybe thousands of previous passengers. One day...there will be a next time, and he may not be here anymore.]

If we could just keep the people we care about safe through sheer force of will?

( and stubborn denial. look, she's not completely gone in her own head, clarke knows there was a very early point where searching could be called useless and no one would have batted an eye if she'd stopped looking. that's just not... in her nature. not with her friends.

rita had judged clarke's own accounts of how far she was willing to go to save her people back home, but now at least has a first hand account of how that looks like in practice. )

It'd be really nice. I wish anything worked that way. You've talked to him, right? Since he got back.

Yeah.

[To, like, all of it. It would be nice. If. If, if, if. But it doesn't. This being a text conversation, though, Rita's less likely to blurt out whatever comes to mind first, and unsure of what else to say...she leaves it at that one, simple, awkward word.

Except for the last question.]

Of course I did. You must have too, as soon as you could.

[...It feels weird to be having a sort-of-normal, but still emotionally fraught, conversation with Clarke.]

( they don't have to examine the fact this is their first sort-of-normal conversation past pool noodle burning. in fact, in the name of a productive chat, clarke's super capable of sweeping every unpleasant interaction they've had under the rug if it'll help suss out any like minded thoughts. )

I'm assuming Jade filled you in first.

( while clarke was off trying to commit a murder. tbh, never been so disappointed in a failed murder attempt, times are hard on board the serena eterna. )

But hearing it from Natsuno's mouth was way harder, right? What do you think about Jinx?

I heard. ~~It was~~ Of course I didn't like it.
But

[The thought goes unfinished, because she doesn't know how to express it, exactly, especially not to Clarke. She probably did hear it from Jade, once they confirmed the body. Hearing it all from Natsuno, though... Both had been awful, but hearing him just say it like that had twisted something awful in her chest. She would've been even angrier if he hadn't already been so apologetic for hurting her by the time they spoke.

Now, Jinx--Rita's reply is angry and immediate.]

I think she'd be DEAD if I hadn't promised Yuuki.

[She still seethes; Jinx started it, and how could Natsuno blowing himself up possibly be finishing it? No, Rita would love to blast Jinx to hell and back.]

Same.

( only, thinking specifically about it? clarke never promised anyone... )

I'm not sure I buy she'll leave him alone for good after this. Don't know what to do about her that won't maybe make this all worse.

[Wow. Something they...actually agree on, fully and without hesitation? Rita never would've believed it, if Jinx hadn't messed with their very important friend.]

My promise only stands as long as she doesn't start anything else. If she does, she'll wish she hadn't.

[And, oh, she'd still love to make wish Jinx she'd never started any of it...but she swallows that urge, pushes it down because she promised and she cares about keeping her promise to Natsuno.]

( well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, there's a very real possibility clarke's about to ruin it simply by asking the hard question of: )

Have you killed, Rita?

( if there'd been an instance during the battle royale before both she and jade curtiss were murdered, clarke can't remember it. and, generally, based off the vehement response she'd gotten from the other girl over milkshakes, there's a thread of doubt as to the answer being yes. )

[--Yeah, that?! Sure does bring the moment to a screeching halt, as Rita stares at her phone. Why...obviously...she'd be capable... (she's yelled plenty of threats, and felt there were certain people who were better off dead, and she's been in fights, but actively and personally killing someone--no. She hasn't.)

Her answer doesn't come nearly as quickly as her vehement hatred towards Jinx.]

Why do you need to know?

Does it matter?

In this circumstance, I think it does. I'm asking you how far you're willing and able to go if Jinx doesn't leave Natsuno alone. It's okay if the answer is: not that far.

I won't let her get away with it. How much else do you even need to know?

Yuuki's my FRIEND.

[YES, she felt the need to emphasize that. Ugh, why is Clarke making this weird?! Rita wasn't thinking about it that far, but now she is, thanks!! (Completely forgetting that this is what Clarke was going for...)]

I just need to know what you're actually willing to do in order to keep your friend safe. It might matter in the moment.

( do you get me a little better now? is a question that's thrumming in the back of clarke's mind. rita had demonized her for killing scores of people when it came down to their lives versus the lives of her friends. rita's a lot of threatening talk, but it does matter how much follow through is behind it. how else can they adjust the metrics of the equation without having all the input?

there's a pause. clarke starts typing once or twice, and deletes her message to try again. and what finally comes out is: )

Death isn't permanent here. Unless that changes, it probably won't be the way we'd need to go anyways. But if it ever is, Rita, and you can't do it? That's fine, that's a good thing, and I'll do it so you don't have to.

( i bear it so they don't have to.

yeah, there you have it. she'd kill for you, and that officially marks the moment that she decides rita falls under the umbrella term "my people". clarke expects this expressed sentiment to be taken terribly. )

Edited 2022-10-21 03:10 (UTC)

[Rita would probably still insist the circumstances are different, and they're talking about a freak who probably doesn't even deserve to live if she keeps going after Natsuno--things that are all too easy for Rita to think and say, when she's never had to directly kill someone before.

But she's never had an issue fighting back (except against Estelle, but it's not like having to fight their friends is a problem they've had to encounter here ~~yet~~).

She stares at the messages Clarke finally sends in confusion. There's some vague deja vu about them--huh, hadn't Yuri been arguing something like that? That he'd do it himself, so he'd be the only one hurt? That jerk, trying to lone wolf it when they were all friends who could share the pain together--]

I'm capable of doing what I need to do. Don't leave me out of it if it comes to that.

[Nothing is concrete until that situation actually happens. Maybe Rita wouldn't be able to murder someone. But she doesn't want to be out of the loop.]

( in it's own way, that's an answer in and of itself. a non-answer, that still tells her everything she needs to know.

so don't worry, rita. in the future, if you hesitate in dire circumstances, clarke's got your back. you don't even have to change your attitude and be nice to her, lord knows half her homeworld companions were argumentative pains in the ass, and that never stopped her caring about them. she thinks she understands the dynamic here a bit better. )

I understand. I won't leave you out.

[A guy like that is better off dead--she'd started to say to Yuri, and it was so easy to say when Barbos was already dead. Could she have been capable of killing him herself? She never wondered, never cared--it was a moot point when the matter was settled, anyway.

She is determined to protect her friends, though, and willing to enact vengeance on those who willingly hurt them. How far that retribution would actually go, when it comes time--ugh, she never thought it needed consideration. How irritating...

Still, as weird as this conversation's been, it's at least...better than theirs have usually gone.]

It's good you get it.

[...That felt...awkward to type in response, but...it feels appropriate. Should she...extend the same offer to Clarke? Probably...]

I'll let you know if something happens.

( everything's worth the consideration, especially the worst case scenario options. but she'd expected more vehemence from rita in return to posing this question, so clarke'll take whatever she gets from her in response. and it's not the most disappointing answer, so. it's fine.

i'll let you know if something happens. )

Same.

( just because blatant honestly bit her in the ass with the other girl before, doesn't mean it will again. and besides, with everything that's happened here? everything that will happen, as is fated on a haunted ghost ship? it's basically a tactical decision, they can't leave one another in the dark anymore. )

[...It's still weird, yet it also...feels like a slight relief. That maybe Rita can have a reason to start...not always fighting with Clarke (because clearly it's not her fault for starting fights or anything...). She doesn't have to like her, but they can have this truce.

She says nothing further in response, but she'll remember this exchange.

And it'll hurt to look back on it, later.]

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