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inbox @ comesailaway
( shiptalk | direct messages | group messages | action )
( shiptalk | direct messages | group messages | action )
( shiptalk | direct messages | group messages | action )
( shiptalk | direct messages | group messages | action )
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[ Especially because Clarke's room could use a little personal touch. You know. That is colorful and fun. ]
Potentially. I don't have powers, this is all just biological. But that doesn't mean I should rule it out as an option. If he can somehow use powers that other people on the boat have as well, then... we could be in trouble if something happens. And we need to be prepared. He probably is. So... having our own counter-measures against ourselves is crucial, I think...
[ Does any of that make sense? He hopes so. He knows he's not very smart, but he really is trying to do the right thing here. ]
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...don't answer that. also don't register the blanket wash of surprise that covers her features at the mention of flowers because those would actually be... nice. really nice. it's a new sort of insult, to go from seventeen years confined in a steel space prison lit with flickering fluorescents, to a year and a half on earth surrounded by trees and grass and wild flowers, only to them be forced onto another ship with complicated rules about death. she likes flowers, especially the blue and purple ones, and —
no, nope. neatly folding her composure back over that spark of childlike intrigue and useless tug of wanting in her chest. clarke even goes so far as to force a half smile while shaking her head softly from side to side. ) This is a really nice present, Mizuki. Practical over pretty any day.
( and his reasoning actually makes perfect sense. she hadn't turned herself into a nightblood for fun, the science of her home world had always been for a purpose, usually geared around saving lives. mizuki had recognized a threat, so he'd gone and pioneered this solution of his own accord. for the scope of her emotionally manipulative tactics, purring good boy at him isn't on the list — but beneath the perpetually aggrieved exterior, clarke's impressed. )
No, I agree. That was really smart of you, and if it ever comes to the point where we're all introduced to sea jelly toxin, this could be the difference between surrendering to whatever the Captain has in mind, or fighting back.
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Still, he beams a little when she mentions that the present is nice, and that it's a smart thing to do. The second time he's heard this on this endeavor, and it makes him feel just a bit like he's walking on air. A choice he made? A decision he made? Smart? He did a good job? Mizuki is not a Perro, but if he were, he would absolutely be wagging his tail right about now. He's the kind of person who likes to take orders, and to follow other people's lead, and to be the tool to their workshop, but... realistically, some rational part of him nudges him towards getting back his individuality.
Baby steps like these felt very good. There's still so many steps to take, but he's allowed to be proud of progress. Very proud of progress. Like, the blush-and-nervous-giggles level of proud. Is that weird? Yes. Absolutely. He can't help it. ]
Th... thanks. [ Ah? Aaah... Aaaaah. What's he supposed to say to that?! He doesn't know! He just reaches his hands up to cover his face and that goofy smile of his. ] I-I uh... ehehe. I have 6 unclaimed vials... is there anyone you want me to give one to?
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mizuki's already immune. ebalon is... weird and not her concern, but apparently also makes the list. and she's seen the way he looks at venti...
for her own list of immediate acquaintances, clarke immediately thinks of natsuno yuuki. but they've had quite a few conversations this past month, all of which give her the impression he's nowhere near as vulnerable to most things as the rest of them. plus, if it's an antidote that's to be introduced to the blood stream, there was more than one way to get it into natsuno's system too. second, rin. with those laser canons and various other weapon capacities concealed just beneath the skin, it would be the biggest threat if turned hostile, and the biggest liability if something got crossed in the circuitry and it just started firing at hallucinations. but again — not a human.
that leads her to — )
One should go to Palamedes Sextus.
( they've catapulted past wary trust to making mad dashes up heaving staircases in the middle of deadly storms together. he can throw invisible shields out of his hands, he's more than useful. )
And at least two to Rita Morido. She's — ( smart. capable. the right sort of chaotically driven that's earned clarke's respect, even if they'll basically never have a conversation free from conflict... and she's suffered enough. ) ...She can decide which of her friends it'd be best to have fully functional and able to help. If something like this ever occurred.
But if it's ever possible to make, I think most people on the ship should have one.
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It’s possible to make more, but… hard. There’s no living creatures on board, people aside. And we need their antibodies to make the antidote, Ehehe… [ He sort of pulls his head for a moment. ] And I really don’t want to put anyone in that position again.
Unless you have someone you think might be evil on board? In that instance, I wouldn’t mind.
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had tied a grounder into a irradiation chamber, injected him with the nightblood serum and watched him contort and die from poorly calculated percentages. trial and error in the name of survival, yet when it had come down to trying a second time, clarke had gone through all the motions of tying down a second grounder — this one she knew by name, this one john murphy begged her not to kill because he loved her — and eventually turned the needle to the crook of her own arm instead. it had hurt. it maybe hadn't even worked.
but it was always, always worth it.
mizuki asks for evil, and again. define evil. )
If we end up needing more, we can use me. ( and almost immediately, because she is coming to understand at least a bit about mizuki — or at least about how to talk to him. ) It'd be best if I was able to recognize what the early onset of your toxins felt like. If this worse case scenario does come to pass, not having to panic and be confused for a minute might be the difference between getting to the antidote and not.
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[ Because, no, absolutely not, he is not putting Clarke in that position. He could barely stand it when Ebalon was in it, and he is a magic healer. Putting Clarke in that position scares Mizuki to the point he does not want her to even ever have to use the antidote to begin with. It's just a precaution. ]
I can tell you the symptoms, if you're really that curious. I've seen what it does to others, so I have an idea of what you'll feel.
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...easily, at least. )
Alright. Then yeah, let's do that. I'd like to know what to expect if worst comes to worst.
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He gives a little nod, then attempts to recount the worst of the side effects. ]
It starts off with dizziness. It gets gradually worse until it becomes hard enough to move at all. Lying down is recommended while you wait for the antitoxin to kick in. Next, you vision starts to get, hm... "wibbly" is how I've heard it described. And that's when the hallucinations start. You start to see things, hear things that aren't there. Eventually, you even feel them. What the hallucinations are tend to be dependent on your surroundings, so it's hard to say for sure when you're hallucinating or not, but the kickstart to your amygdala makes them... to be it lightly, frightening.
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that's definitely something they should hope the captain never weaponizes. or something they ought to weaponize first, just in case. we'll work our way up to asking for blow darts coated in sea jelly poison though, for now — fact finding. )
RIght, I understand. And how long do the hallucinations tend to last?
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[ Also read as: The hallucinations are supposed to go away? ]
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You have a handful of antidotes, but there's easily fifty people on board here. How long do they last for someone who doesn't have a dose, or can't reach it in time?
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He does seriously ponder it for another minute, but it's hard, since people either died soon after being injected, or were tortured to the point their hysteria was providing hallucinations of their own. So, really, as far as he's aware, it just doesn't. To some extent, he thinks, maybe it really doesn't wear off? Maybe the whole point of it was to induce hysteria?
He'll have to ponder that at a later time, though. For now, he just shakes his head. ]
Um... I haven't seen them wear off someone before...? But, you know, maybe I just didn't stick around long enough to find out? I'm not sure...
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clarke sort of just... blinks for a moment. then her face folds itself into a very blatant expression of concern. )
Okay, well. If the opportunity arises, we should try to figure that out. If you're concerned the Captain might use it as some sort of mass attack nerve agent, it'd be important to figuring out how many people could be saved and when we have to cut our losses.
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[ And, if not, Mizuki will figure something out... that doesn't involve traumatizing his friends, ideally. ]
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Mizuki.
Not all science can be built off the back of unwilling lab rats. It's just not ethical, and what you're talking about sounds scarily close to torturing people for past crimes we cannot judge here.
( because, for the hundredth time, define evil. if someone shows up on this boat with the blood of thousands on their hands, and does nothing more than feast at the buffet and play in the game room, are they still evil? is someone who focuses every urge they have to hurt something on hurting the captain evil or heroic? it's a fine line, and important countermeasures can't be held in limbo while they work their way around moral dilemmas. clarke's tried this route before, and ended up just turning the needle to her own arm. )
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I didn't... mean judging them on past crimes. But I won't offer that suggestion again if it's something you're against.
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capitulatinglistening to her ideas. that said, clarke's ideas aren't always fully formed, and if there's one thing she's learned in war, it's best to stay... morally flexible. so in the face of mizuki offering to completely wipe the option off the table, there's a stutter-backstep. )I'm — ( not opposed to torture? ) — not discounting any future possibility. Just... don't be so quick to label people as good or evil.
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You decided after two conversations that I was a good person. And I've been trying to tell you since them that I'm not.
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[ ....Look he's just like this. ]
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Our first conversation was built around hypotheticals, Mizuki. Those aren't a reliable window into someone's soul — you should have asked me how many people I have killed, instead of if I'd kill them.
( for there is no radiance, only the cloying shadow of death everywhere she goes. )
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[ He gets... perhaps uncomfortably close to Clarke to look her in the eye. There are slight movement of his own as he studies her, but for the most part, they try to stay locked on her gaze. ]
You have a lot on your mind. And you access a situation so quickly, making decisions that filter through experiences that you've suffered through. And I'm very sorry you had to go through those things, but this quick thinking you have is... important. You're kind. You're understanding. You're compassionate. You can make decisions even if they hurt. I want them to hurt a little less if I'm here, too.
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and she's shaking her head before even realizing she'd given her neck permission to move. it's a good thing you're not in charge here, because when you're in charge people die, rings in her ears in a tone so distinctly bellamy blake, she almost looks around for him in the shadows of the room.
mizuki speaks about decisions and fast thinking like it's anything to be proud of, rather than the desperate grasping of someone who didn't want to die and became desensitized to the means required to reach that end. her luck had finally run out back home, only to start over here with a blank slate and the immortality she'd sometimes wished for back on earth. and yet — )
I'm so tired of making decisions.
( will she stop making them? not a chance. in this moment, will her shoulders sag a little and the line of her mouth wobble? absolutely, with gusto and another ooze of wetness into her eyelashes. )
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...
He does, eventually, try to reach a hand out again, and while he doesn't just grab all willy-nilly like he usually does, he does offer it out to her all the same. ]
Then you don't have to make them alone anymore.
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