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( wow, if that isn't the most dishonest coping mechanism of a smile she's ever seen. )

Mizuki —

( equal parts an address, and a warning. slathered with the same tone disapproving dog owners use when their dog starts to gnaw on the furniture. clarke's never had a dog, but if she did and it continually offered to bite dangerous strangers for her...

well, what was the line between praise and rebuke? )

I'm not asking that of you. Can't it be enough that I promise I'll tell you if I need help? And that I know I could trust you to follow through if I asked?

[ Coping mechanism? Sure. Dishonest, though? Assuredly not. While he might still have some tangled feelings of guilt, he is genuinely happy that Clarke is so willing to give him a second chance. And even more so when she essentially says it outright. ]

Of course! If that is what you want me to do. You don't even need to promise that to me.

...That's not how this is supposed to work.

( he'd more or less asked if they could be friends before, right? confidants. allies. just because clarke inevitable reneged on promises to all her friends doesn't mean she's not viscerally aware that's not how it's supposed to go. promises aren't light things, oaths of services even less so. and even if she doesn't quite understand the scope of what mizuki offers her on a regular basis, the weight behind his words can't be ignored.

it's supposed to go both ways. )

You promise you'll listen to me when I tell you what I want, and I promise to always tell you what I want. Even when that means putting me back in the middle of a hurricane, you understand?

[ Being considered on equal footing is... a strange place to be. He doesn't mind it, of course. But he's also not entirely sure how to handle it. It's fine, though! He can adapt. Hopefully. ]

... Okay. I promise.

Okay. Good.

( and honestly, if this whole situation had gone a different way and flynn scifo had failed up on the sports deck, her anger would persist. a passing fury can easily become an all consuming grudge, and clarke griffin holds a grudge like no one's business. but her capacity for forgiveness runs just as wide; this had been a horrible miscommunication, hadn't it? but they're righted it. mizuki promises and despite constant let downs, clarke wants to believe him.

there's a beat. an appraising sweep of her gaze, an ounce of the tension dropping off her shoulders. the next words out of her mouth are still gruff and abrasive, but beneath the performance is a burning need to make sure they all made it out of this okay. )

Were you hurt out there?

Edited 2022-04-22 01:35 (UTC)

[ Mizuki sticks his arms out and does a little twirl to show himself off the best he can with his rain poncho covering most of him. ]

Nope. A little sore, but I'm okay. I tried to get as many...

[ His words sort of pitter out, and his gaze falls to the floor. Very slowly, his arms curl back in and settle over his umbrella handle again. ]

… But I hurt you. [ It isn't as if he'd forgotten about that. There was just... so much to think about, and... ] Are you- Does-

[ … ]

...I'm sorry.

( by this point, she has so many bruises and abbrasions all over her body that clarke couldn't even remember where most of them had come from. the split lip and gradually blackening eye aren't memorable, they only hurt when she touches them (or smiles, or talks, or eats, or blinks). so this second round of apology sorta... goes over her head.

clarke shrugs, leaning a little heavily on the frame of her doorway. )

I'll get over hurt feelings soon enough.

F-feelings, huh? [ That's not what he meant, but sure, okay. Thanks, Clarke. ] Please tell me you've been taking care of yourself, at least. I've met some magical healers on the ship. Maybe they can help you?

( feelings. feelings. "feelings"?

betrayal was a hurt feeling, abandonment right along with it. they sting more than any superficial scratch and took much longer to heal. she's also one of the ships many healers, just slotted right alongside john watson in having exactly zero magical recourse for bumps and bruises. )

I'm fine. Nothing's broken and I have acetaminophen.

[ Concerning. But he won't try to argue it anymore. He just nods. If she says she's fine, then she's fine, and Mizuki can accept that he just has to trust her.

Even if it's very clear that she's not fine. ]

… Thank you. For listening. For giving me another chance. I know that- I know I- [ Why are words so hard? ] I... appreciate it.

( but honest question, was clarke ever really fine?

she's leaning a little heavier against the doorframe here, still listening and sizing up every word out of mizuki's mouth, but the exhaustion is compounding. it'd been a shitty week, this had been a shitty situation they'd needed to discuss. at her core it doesn't feel rectified, but he's saying sorry over and over again, and... one slight didn't matter. compared to the rest of what they're facing, tiny squabbles were best put to bed and smothered. )

Earn it.

( hard words, followed by a harder sigh. know what else should be put to bed? )

I'm going to sleep now. But I'll see you around, Mizuki. Take care of yourself.

[ A nod. ]

Of course. If you need anything of me, don't hesitate.

[ And he leaves her with a wave. Does he feel good leaving it here? No. But he figures he doesn't have the luxury to try and press his luck. It's not like anything he wants to say is going to change anything, anyway.

This is a second chance. And he should suck it up and be happy about it. So he will. ]

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