[ He tries to keep his voice from sounding hard when he admits it, doesn't want to express the tension that his conversations with Raven have reflected over his relationship with Clarke. They're talking more than Clarke might like them too: that's the truth of it.
Clarke had her reasons, he's sure, for lying to him. He can't, won't hold that against her. ]
The Commander handles things differently than we do. Have you thought about asking her? Raven has a grudge she wants to get out: the Grounders seem to know how to deal with that kind of thing pretty well. If you ask me, she's earned the outlet. [ He's not saying let them go a few rounds, but ……… ]
(Go a couple rounds or go a couple rounds? Be honest with what you're suggesting, Bellamy.)
And Clarke is totally shaking her head. ]
I don't want — either of them getting hurt. I don't want — [ anyone else to die, because she doesn't trust the two of them to keep their cools yet. It's been a month, and while Lexa may seem over the initial outrage of the massacre, neither Raven nor Clarke were anywhere near over Finn's death.
The thought (her ineptitude, at keeping her friends safe) has her falling into a hard silence, and not completely able to keep his gaze. ]
[ Which is what Raven may well resort to. Lexa, Clarke would say, has too much honor for that. Bellamy knows it.
But Raven is cut from his same cloth, and it's what he'd do if she had taken someone from him the way he'd taken Finn from Raven. If it had been Octavia, if it had been Clarke, Lexa wouldn't still be breathing. ]
They either get it out of their system, or it eats them alive.
[ If "fine" consists of not sleeping, and seeing Finn Collins' face in various reflective surfaces and out of the corner of her eyes. But Clarke puts up a pretty good front, and channels her deep-seeded trauma into anxiety. ]
I'm going a little stir crazy here. I can't do anything. [ For anyone. For her friends in Mount Weather. For her friends here. ]
You can keep Raven and the Commander from killing one another. [ Reason and comfort rarely intersect, so he makes note of where they can. ] That has to count for something. We can't fight an enemy if we're busy fighting our friends. [ The "has to" makes it all too apparent that he feels equally listless, useless even, but he struggles through it to try and find something usable. ] We should try taking watch shifts by the dining hall, see if we can catch a glimpse of who's going in there.
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[ He tries to keep his voice from sounding hard when he admits it, doesn't want to express the tension that his conversations with Raven have reflected over his relationship with Clarke. They're talking more than Clarke might like them too: that's the truth of it.
Clarke had her reasons, he's sure, for lying to him. He can't, won't hold that against her. ]
The Commander handles things differently than we do. Have you thought about asking her? Raven has a grudge she wants to get out: the Grounders seem to know how to deal with that kind of thing pretty well. If you ask me, she's earned the outlet. [ He's not saying let them go a few rounds, but ……… ]
no subject
(Go a couple rounds or go a couple rounds? Be honest with what you're suggesting, Bellamy.)
And Clarke is totally shaking her head. ]
I don't want — either of them getting hurt. I don't want — [ anyone else to die, because she doesn't trust the two of them to keep their cools yet. It's been a month, and while Lexa may seem over the initial outrage of the massacre, neither Raven nor Clarke were anywhere near over Finn's death.
The thought (her ineptitude, at keeping her friends safe) has her falling into a hard silence, and not completely able to keep his gaze. ]
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[ Which is what Raven may well resort to. Lexa, Clarke would say, has too much honor for that. Bellamy knows it.
But Raven is cut from his same cloth, and it's what he'd do if she had taken someone from him the way he'd taken Finn from Raven. If it had been Octavia, if it had been Clarke, Lexa wouldn't still be breathing. ]
They either get it out of their system, or it eats them alive.
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Then you can intermediate.
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I'll handle it.
[ This can only end poorly. ]
You okay?
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I'm fine.
[ If "fine" consists of not sleeping, and seeing Finn Collins' face in various reflective surfaces and out of the corner of her eyes. But Clarke puts up a pretty good front, and channels her deep-seeded trauma into anxiety. ]
I'm going a little stir crazy here. I can't do anything. [ For anyone. For her friends in Mount Weather. For her friends here. ]
no subject